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"I stand on the edge of a cliff in my own bedroom." Gillian Marchenko continues her description of depression: "I must keep still. Otherwise I will plunge to my death. 'Please God, take this away,' I pray when I can." For Gillian, "dealing with depression" means learning to accept and treat it as a physical illness. In these pages she describes her journey through various therapies and medications to find a way to live with depression. She faces down the guilt of a wife and mother of four, two with special needs. How can she care for her family when she can't even get out of bed? Her story is real and raw, not one of quick fixes. But hope remains as she discovers that living with depression is still life.
"I stand on the edge of a cliff in my own bedroom." Gillian Marchenko continues her description of depression: "I must keep still. Otherwise I will plunge to my death. 'Please God, take this away,' I pray when I can." For Gillian, "dealing with depression" means learning to accept and treat it as a physical illness. In these pages she describes her journey through various therapies and medications to find a way to live with depression. She faces down the guilt of a wife and mother of four, two with special needs. How can she care for her family when she can't even get out of bed? Her story is real and raw, not one of quick fixes. But hope remains as she discovers that living with depression is still life.
Part I: Bottom
1. Uncle
2. Why Are You Smiling?
3. Major Depressive Disorder
4. Who Am I?
5. Help
Part II: Borderline
6. Home
7. Bad Mom
8. Origins
9. Work the Program
10. The Color System
11. Will the Real Depression Please Stand Up?
12. Escape
13. The Lord's Prayer
Part III: Breakthroughs
14. Thaw
15. Polygamy
16. Hide
17. And Seek
18. Grow
19. Shame
20. Best Mom
21. Faith
22. Forced Praise
23. Still Life
Acknowledgments
About the Author
Gillian Marchenko is an author, speaker, wife, mother and advocate for individuals with special needs. Gillian's first book was Sun Shines Down, and she has written for publications such as Chicago Parent, Thriving Family and Today's Christian Woman. She and her husband, Sergei, spent four years as church planters with the Evangelical Free Church of America in Kiev, Ukraine, and they now live with their four daughters in St. Louis, Missouri.
"A valuable memoir of depression for those both inside and outside
its grasp."
*Library Journal, July 2016*
"Her story is real and raw, not one of quick fixes. But hope
remains as she discovers that living with depression is still
life."
*The Light, May 2016*
"This book offers a hopeful realism for those suffering from
depression, describes different therapeutic approaches the author
experienced, and reflects the difficulty of parenting during a
season of depression. Her story is real and raw, not one of quick
fixes. But hope remains, as she discovers that living with
depression is still life."
*Journal of Christian Nursing, April/June 2016*
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